REINVENTION OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, ONE POLO BEAR AND PUDDLE BIKE AT A TIME!

This week I bring you tales of the unexpected from the inner workings of not my creative mind but that of Mama J’s crazy brain. Last week saw President Trump’s two favourite words added to The Collins Dictionary. Yes, poor Donald with his very large inferiority complex thinks that everything written about him is in fact “fake news” actually managed to obtain the kudos of having these gems added into the famous book of words. Bless him he really needs to see a Therapist and realise that not all the world is against him but just a few mild mannered people who mean the human race no harm whatsoever! Okay I better stop stirring the pot here otherwise I’ll be on the receiving end of a Twitter tirade telling me I’m a phoney Yorkshire Terrier, which is never a good thing to aspire to be and also causing a global incident. It’s just like your average week on The Real Housewives Of Cheshire in Donald’s international world of bother causing.
Well, Mama J not only invented two brand spanking new words but also a new animal and a new method of transportation to boot. Who said you can’t reinvent the wheel?
   The first word came about when she was groaning about her legs aching slightly. Granny pointed out that other people in the world were suffering more and to spare a thought for Ed Sheeran. This is multi-millionaire Ed Sheeran with all his wonderful array of musical talents? Why would Mama J need to be concerned about Ed? Granny then went on to inform Mama J that Ed had recently fallen off his bike and broke both his arms, which for a touring guitar player and of course singer might not go down to well with the paying public who are expecting him to give a full on “turn”. Mama J enquired, “Was it a motor bike or a puddle bike?” Granny looked bemused and my head shot up from her lap as she asked, “A what? A puddle bike? What the hell is a puddle bike?” Come on now guys you were all thinking I’d made a typo error there weren’t you? At first though I think Granny thought a puddle bike was a new type of bike, you know like a BMX, a Chopper or a mountain bike. When in fact Mama J actually got tongue tied and just meant a pedal bike!
The next new word came about last night when we were all sat watching the very excellent Blue Planet 2 and Granny dared to question some of the facts that Sir David Attenborough was coming out with. “How does he really know that? How do they create new creatures every time this programme is on? Do you think they set some of it up in an aquarium?” With that Mama J recalled, “Oh yes like when they filmed those Polo Bears in that zoo!” Granny nearly choked on the wine she was trying to drink and yes my head shot up again and looked at Mama J for her incorrect usage of the English language. A Polo Bear? Now I’ve heard of the game of Polo and my head was on horse back, galloping along with my hair blowing gently in the breeze by this point but Granny obviously interpreted it slightly differently and asked, “Do these bears have holes in their middles?” This conversation was getting more bizarre by the second however then I cottoned on that they might be bears that leave your breath smelling minty fresh too! Answers on a postcard if you know what I’m talking about here.
All in all with the fireworks then Blue Planet 2’s eerie music that made the Jaws soundtrack sound like Frozen my karma was truly shattered last night. It’s time for a relaxing rest on the sofa this morning.


6 comments:

  1. Ummm, Elsie, should we be worried when peeps make a straw peep, throw it on to a (very chewable) pile of sticks, set fire to the (very chewable) sticks then stand by while send fire works in to the air....isn't this very odd behaviour??????
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

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    1. I know they really are stupid at times. It's freezing cold at this time of year and they're stood outside just going, "Oooh! Ahhh!" at a light show. I could turn the lamps on and off for a similar effect or get the disco lights down from the loft. Have a marvellous week my friend. Licks and paws as always, Elsie. xxx

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  2. Hi Elsie...we are so glad to see you and Mama J up and about.
    OMCs my mom is always making up words.
    Once when they were buying a Christmas tree she asked for a furser fray instead of a fraser fur. That was 87 years ago and Dad will not let it go
    Hugs madi your bfff

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    1. Hello Madi I hope you are well. Yes, Mama J is doing very well indeed. She's been on her exercise bike and had to increase the gradient and did some weight training and is having to buy new heavier weights, as she found it too easy! Those doctor's have created an exercising monster ha ha! Your poor Mom must've gotten stressed out with the "joys" of Christmas tree buying, understandable at that time of year. Mama J will be like that when everyone comes into where she works wanting to order food. She'll need to be left in a darkened room chanting the brochure codes when she gets home! Take care and have a lovely week. Licks and paws, Elsie. xxx

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  3. A Polo Bear? My Dad would love this. He's crazy about puns!

    Thanks for visiting The Daily Bone. Your friend, Chester L. W. Spaniel, editor and chief, and staff

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    1. Hi Chester I hope you are all good. I'll be keeping you all posted on here for anymore English language blunders. I think Mama J might be able to create a catalogue of them the way she's going on. Have a great week. Licks and paws, Elsie. xxx

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