Monday, 2 January 2017

A COMPETITIVE GAMING CHRISTMAS BRINGS FROZEN RAGE

Happy New Year folks and welcome to 2017! I hope you all had a fabulous Christmas and New Year period. My family and I certainly did.
   I got so excited about guess what… Yes the wrapping paper! Well, it did smell of doggie chocolate drops so there was a reason behind my mad fire place bag rooting action. Mama J bought me my chocolate drops and I’ve only just remembered why. She wanted to reconnect with the taste of them and reminisce about her past chocolate drop munching adventures. I’ve told you once and I don’t mind getting stern (like I do with other dogs when I go out in the village for a stroll) hands off Mama J they are for my furry mouth only.
   As well as my scrumptiously tasting chocolate drops I was fortunate enough to get a couple of toys to add to my growing collection. Also one of Mama J’s kind colleagues, who I know loves a laugh at the Chelton’s family’s antics through this blog (or should that be my weekly ramblings), got me the most beautifully festive scarf. I absolutely love it and sent her a thank you message with me sat proudly wearing it. She clearly has such excellent taste in accessories and knows how much I, a pooch of great style appreciate such a perfect present.
One of Mama J’s many gifts was a board game entitled The Best of TV and Movies. Grandpa found it while getting Mama J a set of dominoes. Sadly for Mama J these dominoes weren’t made in a triangle shape and flavoured with BBQ chicken. We got Granny’s delicious turkey offerings with Yorkshire puddings instead so it wasn’t too bad a trade off. Grandpa did spot another board game called The Best of British which is about everyday life in Britain. However he thought the telly one would be more apt for Mama J as she does like to make her eyes square by watching the box for hours on end. Take me out (no I don’t mean the Paddy McGuinness dating show) instead and let’s be at one with nature. Yes, I mean picking up my pooh after I’ve finish squatting when I say at one with nature.
   After our Christmas lunch the fun really began as Grandpa cracked open the board game to the challenge of Mama J’s competitive nature and boy is she competitive. This being a television and movie quiz Mama J thought she had the upper hand (ah The Upper Hand that was a great 90s family comedy programme). However Grandpa seemed to bumble through the games rules as he went along, using them to his advantage or cheating as Mama J so eloquently put it. 
   The first time they played to Mama J’s anger Grandpa won, however the second and third time they played over the Christmas period with the rules fully established by all concerned, Mama J won. The first time she won with questions on Baywatch. Who’d have thought Mitch Buchannon would have helped Mama J in the quest for quiz winning supremacy? Then the second time they played the winning questions were all about TV medical dramas. Not only did Mama J correctly answer the two questions her team needed to win the game but she answered the next two questions right also. 
   The only time she did make an absolute hash of it was very amusing to Granny and Grandpa indeed. The question went along the lines of, “Which soap opera’s title refers to the points of a compass?” Mama J answered quickly and self assuredly, “Crossroads!” Oh dear, Granny and Grandpa looked and then cracked out laughing and then asked Mama J which soap Mama J made the family miserably watch each evening. Sorry Mama J even Benny’s famous beanie hat couldn’t save you from the tongue lashing Dame Barbara Windsor would give you should you ever have the pleasure of meeting her. She’d summon Peggy Mitchell up from beyond the grave and yell at you in her infamous Cockney tone, “Get out of my pub!” Mama J then used the excuse that she was too intelligent and had overthought the answer. She’s a confident bird even in the jaws of defeat by an Eastenders question.
Following on from the wonderful animated adventures of Ethel and Ernest the previous night, my family sat down to watch a movie they had all eagerly awaited that had been on the planner since Christmas Day, Frozen.
   They were all sat there in anticipatory glory as the film started and halfway through it they all began to look at each other in wonderment at how rubbish the film actually was. Mama J exclaimed at one point, “Well it certainly isn’t The Lion King!” No, Mama J I can’t see the African plains or a lion in sight. All I can see is Sir David Attenborough Frozen Planet in cartoon form, so no this is definitely not The Lion King.
   As the film progressed their disappointed grew until the end when they all cheered from the floor (where Grandpa sits on an evening with a cushion to stop his bum going numb) and sofa. The one thing Mama J was really thoughtful about (analysing a Disney film seems a bit deep to me) was why little girls across the world love Elsa so much. Mama J got so enraged about this and Disney’s merchandising campaign to do with Elsa that she typed into Google, “Why do girls like Elsa more than Anna?” It seems that other people had the same deep thoughts on the subject as Mama J read blogs analysing the situation in full detail. It’s a cartoon dear people, calm down! Grandpa said it was because when Elsa transformed she got to wear a nice dress, look glamorous and she was the one with the magic powers. Mama J being more for real women (oh dear this has now turned into a feminist argument in my household, I’m ducking and taking cover) stated that little girls should want to be like Anna as she is smart, funny, uncomplicated and most of all kind. Grandpa disagreed and said they wanted to be glamorous like the cast of TOWIE. Mama J felt that Disney missed a massive trick with their marketing campaign and overall positive promotion of female characters by not promoting Anna as the star of the show. Having said that seen as merchandise from this movie has sold more than any other animated film in history, I think they'll be happy to just, “Let It Go!” Well, just this once.

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