We had fright night a week early as Mama J’s world nearly crumbled like a Digestive biscuit (other biscuits may apply in this crumbling process too) into a million pieces. No, she didn’t have an exhaustion, tear filled meltdown due to her busy time the previous week. Also she didn’t think the list of programmes on televisions planner was too great for eyes to watch. Although it was decided that my family would have to forgo this years The Apprentice as they thought that three hours worth of Lord Sugar’s latest business buffoons arguing was too much to bare. So why did my usually cool,calm and collected Mama J (she sounds like a James Bond character) have a meltdown? Her iPhone 6S broke! Such a first world problem!
Mama J first noticed the problem beginning when she went to delete her Facebook app and then reinstate it. She says that it maintains the storage capacity on her phone and keeps it at about a 7.02. Gosh this is getting too technical for even an intelligent Yorkshire Terrier like me to understand. Mama J worries, yes worries about her storage capabilities. Oh dear, may I recommend Ikea as they do some wonderful extra storage facilities, especially if you don’t have too much room? Failing that I think Mama J should get out more. On trying to reinstate Facebook the iPhone just said, “Open” however on clicking on this symbol Mama J found the app to be very much slam, shut closed! As there was no “cloud” to click on Mama J turned her phone off to see if there was any divine intervention. Yes, a bolt of lightening from the “cloud” that still wasn’t present on turning the phone back on.
Mama J decided to leave the Facebook app to see if it corrected itself and looked on Pinterest at lots of doggie pictures for my Pinterest page. She clicked on so many doggie’s images sending them to the various sections that when she tried to reply to a friends text message the phone had a massive wobble and froze even more than Elsa and Olaf did in Frozen.
Mama J hit the home button so violently that Granny told her to, “Calm down!” Then she “crashed” it by holding down the on/off button and the home button together. She left it to see if it would cool down from all her frantic pinning and then tried to turn it back on again. White screen, black Apple was all she saw. Mama J passed the phone onto Granny who was calmer in a technical crisis and didn’t just manically press buttons. Granny silently and serenely did a “crash” on the phone again but to no avail, the iPhone was slightly buggered!
Mama J instead of completely freaking out went all zen like and regressed back to the days before mobiles were ever invented. Ah the joys of going out and nobody being able to get in touch with you. The days of Amstrad computers followed swiftly by the Sega Mega Drive and Sonic The Hedgehog leaping around looking for gold rings. Long before Pokemon ever went Go! When riding around on her Stinger Aero BMX and playing Blocky was the highlight of Mama J’s day. Oh and when Judy Blume not J. K. Rowling was the queen of childhood literature. Mama J’s phone was broken and she was loving it, temporarily at least.
The loving lasted until the next morning when her iPhone still wasn’t showing any pears to go with her black Apples and she had to consult the oracle, no Google not me, to find out what to do next. Firstly she had to plug the phone into her computer then turn on iTunes. Once this was done and twenty minutes later when the latest version of iTunes was downloaded, Mama J’s iPhone was finally showing signs of life. Indeed Mama J could’ve played The Fray song, “How To Save A Life” and made the moment like a scene from Grey’s Anatomy.
Anyhow the moment Mama J, Granny and I had being waiting for, the iPhone was turned back on and joyfully hadn’t wiped any of Mama J’s data. My image still adorned the screen saver and Facebook and the other apps were all in full working order. Mama J it’s time to put the Sega Mega Drive, the Stinger Aero BXM and the Judy Blume books away, oh and shout, “Blocky one, two three!” normal social service is resumed.
Hollyoaks and now Strictly Come Dancing star Danny Mac saved Mama J’s bacon and spared her blushes at the weekend by uncharacteristically over balancing on one of his dance moves. Whilst catching up on last weeks show, Mama J said to me when we watched his beautiful Rumba, that if Danny Mac didn’t get some 10’s this coming weekend, she would run down the road naked. She thinks the judges have been less than generous with his scores and this was going to be her way of taking them to task. Was she going to tweet them a picture?
Anyway Saturday night came and poor Danny got his lowest score of the competition. Mama J looked at me and I looked at Mama J and we declared it nil and void as he did stumble slightly. I didn’t want the embarrassment of Mama J becoming the female version of the Naked Rambler when he didn’t do a performance that was truly up to par. We’ll leave it for this weekend but may I send a warning out to our neighbours that if you see a starkers Mama J running down the street, please don’t be alarmed, it’s only because Danny Mac has been under marked again on Strictly?
Today is Halloween and also my Granny’s birthday. Happy birthday to my fabulous Granny! Anyway my family just got back from shopping and lunch and as well as getting some bits and pieces of make up for herself, Mama J bought me two new coats and a new rabbit toy.
One of them is the colourful ski jacket I'm modelling at the top of this post. Now where are those ski slopes so I can do it justice and wear it to its full potential? The other is the fetchingly stylish animal print lined coat, which is all the rage with Mama J and Granny's wardrobes at the moment, that I'm wearing at the bottom of today's blog for you. How cool am I? I love it when it’s peoples birthdays and I get lots of goodies! Happy Halloween to you all and enjoy the trick or treating fun.