Monday, 25 April 2016

TWEETIE PIE'S LOVING MOON GROWL

So this morning I have made a new and very distracting “friend” in the form of a kitten. Yes, those immortal words from Tweetie Pie were on my lips first thing, “I thought I saw a pussy cat creeping up on me. I did. I did see a pussy cat!” When Grandpa opened the door for us to go out for our morning stroll there was the small Tortoise Shell cat sat in MY front garden. I was inquisitive and it was hissing at me, how friendly? Little be known to me Grandpa had been fussing it whilst he went out to feed the birds tuppence a bag, tuppence, tuppence a bag. He’s a right Dr Dolittle my Grandpa but he better remember where his bread’s best buttered if he wants cuddles on the sofa with me later! I’ll be diva stropping, you know I will! Anyway we went on our walk and when we got back the cat was still sat in my garden. Oh dear this pussy has a death wish. Grandpa dragged me in through the front door and told Mama J and Granny all about his new found friendship with a cat. Mama J’s eyes widened as she wanted a cat a few years ago and this could be her moment. Sorry I think not, following Marble’s sad demise there’s only room for one pet in this house and that is definitely me! I have been sat guarding my kingdom well okay the front door on and off ever since. The cat was sat under the bird table waiting for its three course meal of Sparrows, Black Birds followed by Pigeon Pie but has subsequently disappeared. Granny has carried me outside twice now to show me that it has gone so I would remove myself away from the door and resume my usual position on the arm of the sofa.
So spring has sprung here. I say this but Mama J fuelled by Carol Kirkwood’s weather report this morning on BBC Breakfast is wearing a jumper with snow flakes on it. I’m going to get political and environmental here but what happened to global warming? I’ll be needing to get my tartan winter coat out again if this cold snap doesn’t avail. So let’s say spring has sprung in my heart. The butterflies are dancing in my tummy and the birds are tweeting like in the film Snow White around my head. Yes, folks I Elsie Bear Cherub am in love with Watson! (No, Mama J hasn’t been watching reruns of Sherlock so my love interest isn’t Actor Martin Freeman)
He is a handsome Lurcher cross and lives down the road. I get all agitated and bark when he moves away from me as I love seeing him so much. Mama J and Granny had a cuppa with his Mummy the other day and when Grandpa got back from his appointment I went with him to meet them at Watson’s house and we had a play date. Okay it was five minutes while the adults conversed but we are taken it slowly as I don’t want him thinking I’m some sort of floozy. I loved chasing him around his kitchen and out into their back garden. I was in my element in their kitchen area too as its open plan and very large in comparison with mine here at home. I even reenacted the famous scene in Footloose where Kevin Bacon skidded across the floor. All I needed was the tune and it would have made a perfect YouTube video. Anyway I’ve seen Watson or Watty as I affectionately call him a hand full of times in the past week and I predict our romance is going to be bigger than Scott and Charlene’s 1980s love story in Neighbours, oh gosh all those years ago. Mama J even does a good impression of Charlene’s Mum Madge calling her beau, “HAROLD!” 
I had an exciting time on Friday as Granny and Grandpa took me on a road trip, all the way to the next village to see which dogs I could terrify with my barking there. This trip out was in preparation for a Cliff Richard style Summer Holiday in July when we might be going to the Lake District. I was taken by total surprise as I just got ready to go for a walk around my own village when Grandpa took a grass side diversion over to his car and opened the door. As he did this I was so thrilled I jumped up and down like a child seeing Father Christmas. We had a wander around the neighbouring village and then they put me back in the car and left me and went to the Post Office. This was a cunning plan and a test of my quiet endurance levels. A test may I add that I passed with A* quality. Granny and Grandpa had to see whether I was okay in the car by myself as public houses don’t always welcome noisy little Yorkshire Terriers with open arms. Spoil sports! Anyway Grandpa has been eagerly looking online for accommodation that will welcome me with open arms so we are looking forward to our jaunt away this summer.
To finish on this week I must tell you that I may be in a sequel of American Werewolf In London, entitled Yorkshire Terrier In Yorkshire as it was a full moon the other evening and I was sat on my sofa arm growling at it. Oh Michael Jackson in his Thriller phase would’ve been so proud of me! That or I was saying a huge, “Hello” to the children’s television character Mr Spoon living on Button Moon.




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