So it was Mama J’s birthday last week and what did my sassy and fun loving Mummy want to do? Perhaps a relaxing spa visit? Table dancing whilst drinking Mojitos? No, Mama J chose her venue of choice and it was York Race Course. Fair enough a day at the races is always thrilling especially for Mama J as she’s a massive fan of horses, as she used to have riding lessons every Monday morning for five years until her lovely Instructor retired last year. However there were no trotting hoofs involved for Mama J as it was the Living North Live event on at the race track instead of galloping ponies that tickled her birthday fancy! Oh dear Mama J what a thirty-six year old cliche you’ve become. Grandpa nearly spat his tea out when Mama J suggested this as her birthday treat. I can see what is coming next… The Knitting and Stitching Show! Mama J did flirt with needle work a few years back but epically failed due to not separating the threads that came in the kit from one into three. She ran out of thread and then patience a third of the way into creating her now binned masterpiece. I don’t think she’ll ever be orchestrating the next Bayeux Tapestry! Anyway after a few hours of listening to the local radio for me (I now know the words of every jingle and which order they are played in) I was rewarded when all my family came back from the event with a super heroes bandana, for me! Grandpa has delightfully deluded himself and is living in hope that my bandana will give me the special power of quietness and that I may stop barking a massive, 
“Hello” to all and sundry when out on my walks! Bless!

Prior to Mama J’s birthday she met up with an old friend of hers named Eleanor. She has known Eleanor for a number of years as she used to live just around the corner on Penny Lane. They worked together in their college holidays in the strawberry fields forever. Okay I jest here as it felt like forever did that summer as it was raining majority of the time, so on the rare occasion when the sun did break through the clouds, Mama J and Eleanor used to jump up and down excitedly screaming, “Here comes the sun!” Eleanor used to think Mama J or Jools to her pals was called Jude (Eleanor’s hearing has never being her strong point) and she’d ring her up going, “Hey Jude” Mama J couldn’t just let it be and had to correct her as it is one of her pet hates as she gets called all sorts such as Julie, Julia and also misspellings of her proper name which is Juliet to the French version Juliette. Eleanor has a very cool and bohemian living arrangement with her boyfriend and their daughter these days as they all live in a yellow submarine. Eleanor’s boyfriend is interested in the history of The Cold War and even lived in Russia for a time. So when this submarine came up for sale it reminded him of his days studying Russia’s spying tactics for his degree back in the U.S.S.R. They’ve had to do a lot of work on the submarine to make it habitable and recently started a TV bid war between the production teams of both Grand Designs and George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces. They received letters from both camps with words to the effect of, “Dear Miss Rigby, We would love to feature your amazingly quirky abode on one of our up and coming programmes….” As they began their grand design (which was a hard days night for all concerned), yes they chose Kevin McCloud’s show, there were an awful lot of, “Get back!” screams as hammers, saws and indeed kitchen units were flying around left, right and centre. Eleanor’s boyfriend was no Handy Andy but he was so optimistic and always said, “We can work it out” as shelves were falling off the walls and water was spurting out the taps! Anyway it’s been a long and winding road with many twist and shouts along the way but the programme airs in the next few months, so enjoy! 

Also for Mama J’s birthday Granny and Grandpa took her to the theatre to watch “Let It Be” which is a musical tribute to The Beatles so the tale above comes from me to you, as all you need is love to imagine all the people in this tall story. I bid you hello goodbye for this week and will continue my comedy writing revolution next week.

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