Well, Mama J’s holiday has gone in the blink of my Yorkshire Terrier eye. I have found a new found interest in Minion’s thanks to the ITV showing of Despicable Me 2 on Saturday tea time. Mama J loved to jig along in an extremely uncoordinated manner to Happy by Pharrell Williams. So keen was I my ears pricked up to heights only seen when I watched The Meerkats at the start of Coronation Street and my all time favourite (and Grandpa’s) 2001: A Space Odyssey where I was hypnotised by the sights and sounds on my TV screen. Anyway I’m beyond excited as Mama J has promised me that we can watch the proper full scale Minions film together. I’ll bring the cuddles if you bring the popcorn Mama J.

Now this morning I was awoken to the dulcet tones of Mama J singing in the shower. However this was a distraction technique sing song as Mama J had a spider in her ensuite which was bouncing like Bear Grylls on his Mission Survive programme above her head. She was singing, “Bad Boys. Bad Boys. What you gonna do when they come for you?” While the whole time keeping her eye focused firmly on the swinging spider. When she got out of the shower and was drying herself off the little b****r pounced a little too much from its web and Mama J was out of there like a celebrity on an Ant and Dec show and I’m not talking the Saturday Night Take Away kind of show here. “Ohhhhhhh! There’s a spider!” Grandpa went to the rescue with stool in hand (that is all it is used for I think. Oh scratch that I’m informed Granny piles washing on it too ready to be ironed) and even though his eyesight isn’t 100% 20/20 these days he just about managed to spot the ever so small (big to Mama J you understand) spider and pop it down the toilet so Mama J could go back in and finish getting dried.

On Wednesday morning Grandpa got out of the wrong side of bed, to put it mildly! He gave Marble and I our morning stroll and got grumpier and grumpier as we got round the walk. It was windy and rainy. We didn’t want to be out in it either but hey a dogs got to do what a dogs got to do. When we got home Mama J enquired why Grandpa was so grumpy and then he let rip, “Well maybe you’d like to walk them instead of doing your hair and make up!” When Mama J came down stairs looking pretty and beautifully turned out Grandpa was banging about the kitchen like a kid playing the drums for the first time. She turned to him and said pointedly as Marble and I dived into our toy basket for cover, “If you don’t change your attitude you won’t be coming to the Designer Outlet with us!” Granny came down stairs at this point laughing her head off at what Mama J had just said all motherly and authoritarian to her Father. Well, that told him! Unfortunately although temporilary improving his mood his air of grumpiness slipped back into the fold when they reached the first store in the Designer Outlet, Gap. As they wandered around the displays Mama J noticed a half eaten ice cream (vanilla flavour I’m informed) had been not so strategically placed by a group of t-shirts in the menswear department. Grandpa had picked up a pair of skinny fit jeans and headed to the counter to pay. On reaching the counter he told the member of staff serving him, “One of these little ankle biters has left a half eaten ice cream by the t-shirts over there.” As he pointed he looked to the right to see the sheer horror on the woman next to him’s face as she was buying kids clothes for her child in the push chair below. Oh dear our very own Cain Dingle, Grumpy Dwarf and Incredible Hulk on a bad day had put his foot in it.

Now Mama J does have to take responsibility and some of the burden for Grandpa’s mood as she books half term week off every February not to look after any children, as apart from me her furry child she doesn’t have a need. It's just a pattern she fell into as she likes her holidays in the winter months. Also she suggested to Granny that they should go to the Designer Outlet for a wander round and lunch. Oh no I mentioned lunch! It was like a stampede for the next available table. Grandpa was left so traumatised he started with a cold over the weekend. I must say that Grandpa’s new jeans have caused a lot of controversy in our house as Mama J and Granny feel the skinny fit essence is bordering on the style of if the rumours flying round are true new X Factor host Rylan Clark-Neal! At least they are not Grandpa’s favourite shade of stone blast though, so he’s getting more down with the kids than the OAP’s! Grandpa did say he wanted to vet what I was writing today but oh dear…. Publish was just pressed!

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