CHICKEN DENTAL HORRORS!

So this week is Halloween and Joolsy has turned all Arlene Phillips and has been barking out dance move orders at Elsie and I to the tunes of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” and Kernkraft 400’s “Zombie Nation”. Elsie is very good at the Thriller move of standing on her hind legs and swaying her front paws, especially when we are on our walks when she sees other dogs proceeding towards her and she’s added her own actions into the choreography too with the mouth moving ten to the dozen! She really is a Thriller all right! Joolsy has a friend who every time they went out partying back in the day (Joolsy’s more excited by soap operas these days but more of that in a minute!) would run over to the DJ booth and demand they played Zombie Nation. Around Halloween you could expect it to be on the playlist however she demanded it in all four of the weather seasons. I guess you could say it was her anthem, oh dear what a song to pick! Mine would have to be Baha Men’s puppy classic “Who Let The Dogs Out?” What a tune! Having said that I am partial to Kasabian’s “I’m On Fire” as whenever Dad does his Iron Man training (he saw it on Home and Away and Baywatch many moons ago now and thought a resoundingly challenged YES!) sorry meant light weight training there, he picks me up and then as the music builds up to the triumphant chorus he starts bouncing me around like he’s doing the song, “The farmers horse goes gallop gallop GALLOP!’ Ah a family favourite with Joolsy and all her cousins growing up. I love dancing not like my Dad but with my Dad as I’ve mentioned before in a previous blog. Mind you Joolsy isn’t afraid of doing things at the wrong time of the year either especially where Halloween is concerned. When she was a child Joolsy and her next door neighbour and very much partner in crime used to go trick or treating in the summer holidays, in fact in any of her school holidays, at any time of the year! They were so amazing at it though and always came home with either a Kit Kat, a Breakaway biscuit or a Club. I wish I’d been around in Joolsy’s entrepreneurial days, it would have been quite good for my belly as I like a lot of chocolate on my biscuit so would’ve joined Joolsy’s Club! Bum bum a bit of old school advertising thrown into the mix there! The picture featured today is of me doing my Halloween pose ready for Saturday, Elsie’s ready for the children of the night calling with her scar of her cheek and her fully trained barking.
Joolsy was at the Dentist last Wednesday and before she went she went on and on for what seemed like an eternity about the last time she had a filling which was before she was ten (when she was happy, rolling my eyes here while typing this… “Bless!”). Joolsy recalled screaming the previous dentists surgery down in pain and then said how everyone looked at her in sheer horror as she walked down the stairs clutching her jawline. Mum and Dad looked at her bemused which only fuelled Joolsy’s questioning of, “You really don’t remember it?” Then she looked bemused herself as she said, “Well maybe it didn’t really happen!” Anyway Mum dropped Joolsy off at the dentist and went to look around some local shops nearby, as she didn’t want to be associated with Joolsy should the story be true and Joolsy screamed this practice down too. Sensible lady my Mother! Joolsy went in to find the Dentist and the Receptionist sat at the desk, she warned them she was nervous and told them the story, the Dentist replied, “You’ll be fine.” and the Receptionist poked, “How old are you now?” looking on the computer at Joolsy’s details as she said it. Joolsy chuckled and said, “35 going on 5!” So the procedure began with a little gum numbing gel being rubbed on Joolsy’s gums then followed the bit Joolsy had been dreading for the past two weeks (she’d told everyone she was going for her filling replacement like she was getting a badge of honour) the INJECTIONS which straight afterwards Joolsy almost disappointedly asked, “Is that it?” The Dentist said, “Yes that’s the painful bit over with now.” Joolsy responded, “That was ace!” She’s a nutter our Joolsy. After a quick scale and polish especially in the upper back right hand corner which the Dentist always mentions as a weak spot in Joolsy’s brushing technique (may I recommend some fabulous denture sticks from all good pet stores?), it was on to the main event! I’m making it sound like a world championship boxing match here aren’t I? Yes, replacing of the filling! So the drilling began. The Dentist started slowly, checking if Joolsy was okay to keep going. Joolsy excitedly gave the Dentist the thumbs up grinning like a Cheshire Cat. After drilling the hole and filling it again with a lovely white filling the Dentist put a vibrating implement in Joolsy’s mouth and said, “You’ll like this part I promise!” Wow wee Joolsy loved it however she did wonder how the Dentist knew she would. Obviously word of Joolsy’s antics in the past had spread far and wide and indeed to the dental surgery. My oh my what a reputation! Once the Dentist had done Joolsy came out to the waiting room where Mum was now waiting and looking shocked by all the laughing instead of screaming that she could hear coming from the room. Joolsy said, “That was amazingly fun and didn’t hurt a bit. It’s the most fun I’ve had since going for my flu jab!” This girl makes friends and really does have fun wherever she goes, however I do think if she calls filling replacements and flu jabs fun she needs to get out more! Joolsy looked like she’d had some cosmetic fillers like they have on The Real Housewives Of Cheshire for a few hours after her treatment. When Joolsy asked Mum if they could go look around one of her favourite art galleries Mum replied, “I’m not going anywhere with you looking like you’ve had Botox injections on one side of your face!” They came home straight after instead.
As Joolsy had been for her dental treatment Dad thought he’d go get her a “treat” from a culinary shop in town. Now I’ve told you about Joolsy’s cooking skills before but Daddy’s selections are legendary but in the most rubbish and chicken filled ways. Now you know I’m a doggy who likes my chicken but Dad just will hunt out chicken in a food shop like he’s some sort of heat seeking missile! This time he came back and said grinning with delight, “I’ve got you a chicken and mash pie from the kids range!” Okay Joolsy thought it might be like a little Marks and Spencers chicken pie (Joolsy loves them hint hint for next time!) but oh no it was like a Shepherds’s Pie with chicken in it and sweet potato not even proper mash and when he said it was for children we think it was actually designed for tiny tot babies as it looked like puree! Joolsy took one look and just went, “I’ll have toast!” Dad’s “selection” for Mum wasn’t much better however at least he didn’t go for the all round winning combination that he seems to fall back on which is chicken in any sort of mustard he can find! He even bought a chicken book at one point which has mysteriously disappeared from the kitchen shelf. Elsie and I are under strict instructions not to say who moved it or we won’t get any Mama’s Lasagne next time it’s on offer!
Speaking of Joolsy and getting out more, as I mentioned earlier she’s being undecidedly excited about soap plot lines this past week as Hollyoaks and Emmerdale have both had big reveals. Hollyoaks revealed Lindsay as the Glove Handed Killer. Joolsy had worked that one out already basically because she was the most “normal” out of all the suspects. Good call Joolsy or should that really be Miss Marple here or as one of Joolsy’s colleagues calls her Juliet Bravo? Yes, most people just have affairs with their fianc├ęs brother’s (oh Lindsay already did that… right!) but this girl went around just randomly killing people in her work as a Doctor. Thank goodness Elsie and I go to the very lovely veterinary practice for any treatment we require as medical people might get ideas watching this Chester based mayhem! Also Emmerdale had the build up of a big reveal as to who shot Robert but Joolsy and her soap enjoying friends thought having Ross Barton be the shooter was a bit of a damp squib. Oh the drama!
Joolsy has blonde moments sometimes and she’s had two quite recently. It must be helping me writing this that’s frazzling her brain cells somewhat. The first one was when her and Mum went to visit Nana and there was a TV and an electric cooker outside Nana’s neighbours house waiting for the Rag and Bone Man to take. Joolsy looked at them and because it was raining said all concerned, “They won’t be any good as it’s raining and it will bugger the electrics up so much they won’t work anymore!” Mum told Joolsy that they use them for parts and told her to go find some brain cells whilst she was using Nana’s toilet! Then this morning Joolsy went to the doctor’s to collect her medication after her and Mum had been shopping. Joolsy noticed a sign outside the doctor’s surgery which said, “Please ring for assistance.” She quoted it back to Mum and asked, “Why would you ring? Is it for security reasons?” Oh dear Joolsy! Mum being the fountain of all logical knowledge explained it was for people with mobility issues. Another clanger eh Joolsy?
Right this is me pawing off until next week. Thanks for reading. 












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