Trumpet fanfare if you please people. Today is the art worlds equivalent of the Star Wars promo video. Yes, Dad has finished his painting and we (that is myself, Elsie and Cedric RIP) are drying out metaphorically speaking of course as I type. Although it does look like a rain shower maybe due later this afternoon so we could be drying out literally if that is the case. So here we go the great unveiling of The Joyriding Dogs…

Joolsy is so pleased with the results and even if I do say so myself am pretty darn impressed with my portrait. The likeness is uncanny. Mummy texted a photo of the picture to friends and family and one of her friends was so impressed too that she has said she’d pay for a painting of her two dogs done in a similar vain. Dad was talking to Joolsy about testing the waters and doing some to sell on eBay. What joy have we started? Paws crossed Elsie and I could be in for more dog treats for inspiring Dad if the sales coming rolling in.

We’ve had drama all round in the Chelton animal kingdom again. Remember last time how we were all on left side face watch to do with Elsie’s cheek? The very next day after I pawed that blog (you couldn’t write it could you) it flared up again and she was put on more antibiotics until she could go in eight days later and have the badly inflamed abscessed teeth removed. Her cheek looked like she’d slipped when applying her eyeliner and it had ended up on her cheek. Elsie went in the other Thursday to have the offending teeth taken out. When they got her under the anaesthetic they found another wobbly tooth at the bottom of her jaw so removed that one too just to be on the safe side. Also she a slight touch of kennel cough (we don’t know how as she doesn’t like other dogs apart from me) which was also treated. I had a lovely day while she was out chilling out with my Mum and Joolsy until they bought what seemed like a half cut Elsie back from the vets to have rest and recuperation or R&R as the military personnel put it. Elsie was resting well until Sunday lunchtime when she started being sick which lasted on and off for a few times over the next few days. The vets (our favourite number in phone at the moment) was rang again and Elsie was taken off her anti-inflammatory medication as she’d obviously had a bad reaction to it. Jesus only Elsie could get so lucky in life. Although when Mum used Auntie Google this was more common than we first thought. Elsie was put on a course of Zantac (yes the stuff you can probably get more cheaply at your local chemist than our veterinary practice) to cool her raw and inflamed tummy down. I’m pleased to say this has done the trick and Elsie is back on 100% tip top form once more. Although the emergency towels (Peter Kay has emergency chairs, we have emergency beige ex-caravan towels) are still strategically placed around the house just incase darling Elsie has another sick turn. The towels followed Elsie around like Madonna’s cape, yes we all nearly did trip over them too…. What wait a minute Madonna’s suing me for making a bad cape joke. Tell her she can have my new biscuits treats and my really old ragged rope but that’s all I have to offer the Queen of Pop I’m afraid, sorry Madge. 
I am doing well too. The vet put me on another course of antibiotics for my urine infection and paws crossed this should have cleared up altogether when Mum takes another sample into the vets in a few days time.

The last bit of drama and this was on a fairly epic scale for me and Mum happened the other Friday on our evening walk. We were strolling along when I managed to uncover a wasps/hornets nest as we walked down the lane. We didn’t ask exactly what they were as we were too busy getting attacked. Although we may send an email description to Springwatch’s Chris Packham for analysis in due course. Mum was stung on her finger first and screamed a loud, “Ouch!” Then she looked around at me and I was covered in them. They were all over my face and body. I know I’ve done the I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here diet of chicken and rice but expecting me to do this sort of bush tucker trial is a bit much for a Cocker Spaniel and his fearless Mum to bear. Also we didn’t have Dr Bob on hand to make sure we were safe to proceed with the trial. Anyway I was rolling around the ground with buzzing ringing in my ears and stinging around my nose area. I don’t mind saying here that I was crying like a baby (in a manly way of course as have my street credibility to protect) as Mum turned Xena Warrior Princess (minus Lucy Lawless’s wonderful costume) and picked up a branch and started hitting them off me. When I say hit please don’t call the authorities as I know she was doing this in a loving way. Elsie watched on in pure horror as coming from the mean inner city streets she had never seen such crazy badass wild life making its move before. Once Mum had managed to get most of them off me we walked back up the road like Josh Hartnett in the final scenes of Black Hawk Down. “Leave no man behind!” it says on the cover of that films DVD and this was a case of leave no dog behind only my lead which was still covered in wasps from their frenzied attack. Once were home safely and all the wasps had been removed from my body following a thorough fur search where Dad turned equivalent of an airport scanner machine with his eyes literally on heat, guess what happened next. Yes, Mum rang the vets again just to get some advice on stings just incase I went into anaphylactic shock. They just said to give me an antihistamine and keep an eye on me. Mum did this and took one herself as she acquired about six stings on her hands and arms saving me from the nutty wasps. My hero!

Right that’s enough tales for today I’m off to chill out now after my morning out been preened to perfection at the doggy groomers. Ah it’s a hard life I lead.

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