Hello again readers it’s me Marble Chelton here once more. My paws and brain have been given a three year break as writing Toy Story 4 gave me writers block. Jesus how JK Rowling ever got through all those Harry Potter novels defies belief and then there’s War and Peace.... That book is too much for my tear drop Cocker Spaniel eyes to bear. Reckon I’d need to go to Specsavers by the end as my eyes would’ve aged a good few years in the long winded process of reading it!
You remember last time I wrote that I told you that we once had a CARAVAN. The mere mention of that word sends shivers down Joolsy’s delicate spine but has me whimpering with sheer unadulterated delight. Well recently we stayed at a local caravan park, in yes a caravan (cue dramatic music, something like the theme to The Omen perhaps!). This however was a static caravan and met Joolsy’s approval as it had mains water so she could shower until her heart was content. The site was five minutes away from home. Yes you read that right. I didn’t even get my seat warm in the car on the way, not like my trip to doggy groomers that morning. Well a boy has to look smart for a trip away and the other people staying on site. Why you may ask would my family want to go five minutes down the road. It was all in the name of Joolsy’s en-suite which she christened earlier today. I’m not crude enough to tell you how she christened it but needless to say it ended with a flush! We stayed at the caravan park while the messy part of the plumbing work was done however the whole project felt like Grand Designs or Restoration Man with the usual blip in the middle of the programme. Yes the plumber was AWOL for a few days. No he hadn’t done a Jean-Claude Van Damme and joined the French foreign legion, he had a family crisis. I should’ve have adapted that for dramatic purposes however I’m an honest boy with a steady moral compass which may come from nature or nurture, how scientific do I sound? If Channel 4 want to do a new home make-over show or BBC2 want to do a science documentary I’m their dog! Whilst the work was going on I have been feeling a little disorientated with myself. Joolsy’s dulcet tones were coming from the back bedroom. Yes I’d run around to usual door and was met with silence and tools, lots of tools. Then I’d look across the landing and there was Joolsy waving dementedly at me. This went on for four weeks. See I told it was like Grand Designs! Anyway tomorrow’s going to be fun as Joolsy will once again be playing hide and seek from me, I’m sure I’ll find her eventually, however I may pull her leg by going and sitting outside the back bedroom door for a laugh.
Mum and Joolsy have been upsetting me recently, they’ve committed the cardinal sin in dog terms! They’ve been on the internet looking at other ANIMALS!!! They are on there daily looking at rescue sites such as Dogs Trust, Blue Cross and RSPCA. Joolsy says there is plenty of love to go around but I just keep giving Joolsy mucky looks in return. Not only is it other dogs they keep looking at but we nearly got a rabbit named Flopsy the other day from Pets At Home to share the yard with me. Fortunately for me when they got there the rabbit had already been homed. My ringing and telling the staff to clean Flopsy’s cage out about 5 o’clock on Saturday obviously did the trick. Will remember that one next time they spot some other gem from the animal kingdom. Joolsy had tropical fish at one point which was quite an experience I can tell you. They ate each other, they didn’t show you that in Finding Nemo and the tank was so noisy that I didn’t get my full beauty sleep for the whole year it was in Joolsy’s room buzzing away. In the end Dad took the last remaining few fishes to work with him to swim around in the office tank and Joolsy sold the tank and contents at auction.
Here I sit proudly in my yard, not a Flopsy rabbit in sight!